The Root...

Once upon a time (when cable network was an outcry and kite flying as popular as cricket) there was this young guy. By young I mean...well..he was a kid..09-10 years old. He used to spend his holidays at his granny's place. His aunt (mother's sister) used to give tutions to little kids, mostly younger then himself. He was sometimes forced to take time out of usual nothingness (which he used to enjoy at that time) to teach those kids at times too. That's how he came to know Gina. She was a year younger and friendly and needless to say a very sweet girl (most children at that age are..!!). Once after the tuition was over this girl asked the guy's aunt if she can take the guy to her house for some time..to play maybe..? The aunt had to inevitably agree, given the nuisance that guy was. The guy was a little (this is a metaphor) shy. So he had to be pushed...and pulled..Well..Gina was pulling and aunty was pushing.."arey chala jaa...!!"

Fine. They started the journey. As they crossed the first block of houses, the familiarity of the neighborhood vanished, nervous jitters started bumbling inside the young tummy of this guy of ours. Gina's home suddenly started to seem a light year away. As they entered Gina's locality the guy started noticing the weird stares coming from the unknown faces on both sides of the street...He thought...

"so much attention, why don't I melt into nothingness this right moment. God please let me out of this situation I will eat bhindi for two weeks..!!"

Gina who was walking ahead in the meanwhile had managed to miss the hysteria on his face and kept talking just the way she had all this while.

"This is my locality, my house is just two blocks away...thats my school, thats my friend's house..BLAH BLAH."

Somehow it all converted into gibberish as it hit the ear drums of our nervous young guy.

That's when the most cowardly act of the millennium took place...he snapped...freed his hand took a U-turn and started running back. He had not the stomach to look back but he could imagine the "Oh my God..what happened" look on Gina's face..(maybe he heard that statement as well). But nothing could stop him. He ran back to the Granny's house. What happened afterward is not more important than the fact that he never saw Gina's face again. How could he. He was so embarrassed. He didn't know what she felt about the whole situation. He was still confused himself. His poor little brain could not contemplate the simplest of reasons for that super act of cowardliness.

As he turns old he flushes that part of his life somewhere down the drains in his cerebrum. But a slight reminder of that incident answered the only question he has been asking throughout his life...

"that is it then...that is the root of all the problems...that's where it all started."

As to the question: why...?

Well, simply because he was scared of attention...and affection from unexpected quarters. He still is...just adding on to that list...he is now scared of commitment as well.

All this while it never occurred to him, what the plight of Gina must have been. Stranded in middle of the street, a guy running in the opposite direction as if he was being abducted. The stares must have shifted the focus at that point in time. She was just a little girl...! He doesn't know where Gina is now. He doesn't know how she is...but from the core of his heart he wishes to say:

"I am sorry Gina. Sorry for being so stupid."