Batting eyelashes at me.. :D

On the wall.. X(

Its 3:30 in the morning, I am still awake as usual, being the insomniac blood sucking monstrous vampire that I am (If you don't call a guy with extended canines, tendency to wake up all night and inability to cope with the minimalistic of sunlight or any bright light for crying out loud...a vampire...you need your basics redone...!! ). Its almost full moon, maybe it IS full moon and strong breeze is flowing across my house...right through the front door. Lovely eh..?? No Sire no!!

As I was strumming the strings on my G, so slow and so low making sure that my mom...in the next room...or my neighbors in the next apartment don't get the feel of the chords. Feeling the soothing breeze right across my face, I heard something, some water...sprinkling outside in a familiar rhythmic pattern and that's when the beauty of the night was sabotaged...

(caution: the following part of this post is a gross and disgusting description of an extremely horrendous act of abomination. I am posting this..because it may prevent me from murdering someone in abhorrence tonight)

My subconscious pointed acutely at just one act that results in similar rhythmic pattern. With all faith in the Almighty and hoping that I was wrong, I rose up, walked to the front door and to my disbelief, I was right. I saw a lame asshole having a pee (yes you read it right) at the wall about 20 yards away from my home. Well it wasn't that shocking after all. I had concluded it from the sound itself. The breeze was not in my favor after all...eh?? All I was hoping for (I wasn't getting it, just hoping) was a cup of coffee, chocolate powder sprinkled on it and the aroma...mmmmm...!!! And what did I get..?..PEE FRAGRANCE...!! For a second or two, I was stoned..

"room freshener...room freshener..." I thought, "no wait...lemme get a brick. Its only 20 yards, maybe I can have a good shot.."

Now I ain't Abhinav Bindra, but hey...a brick in place of a bullet...an empty head in place of a circled target...odds favored me!! I don't think it was righteous, but I just had all the anger control mechanisms in tact. (Damn it!!)

Incidentally a 'not so decent' family has just moved in at rent in an apartment right across mine. I think they have around seven people adjusted in 2 rooms (India for you ). So instead of asking others in the family to give him way (yes they sleep like people on the streets do), to go to the toilet, he took the Einstein-ic decision to take a pee...right outside. What am I gonna do about it...?? Nothing. I can't shout at him, at this hour in the night...Heck, I can't dare open my mouth, I'll die in disgust.

So, I have just closed the wooden gate and my window for now, so that I am insulated from the pee radiation. My night is done for, I have a cloud of room freshener around my head and I feel like strangulating that guy, obviously after ripping his hairs off his scalp, bashing his head against the same 'pee GRAFFITI-ified' wall.

14 comments:

Cess said...

Hey,
first time i came here, through common blog we read ;) Very funny post, u should have try the "no wait...lemme get a brick. Its only 20 yards, maybe I can have a good shot.." next time, hopefully it won t happened again ;) but keep some 'objects' to throw in case of pee-emergency.
Cheers.
C.

Zubin said...

Hey Cess...a very warm welcome.. :)
You liked it..?? Thanks..

Yeah, I think I should keep something for this particular emergency...maybe a Bow and some arrows.. :D

Cess said...

hey, for an unknown reason I had more in mind an ashtray, to hit the head BAM! ok, enough ;)
still cool post
C.
PS: i m not a psycho ;)

Zubin said...

Hehe..yeah I know you are not a psycho...In fact..you are really sweet.. :p

Ashtray won't hurt him much...the hard headed person that he is..!! :D

Preeti said...

hmmnn...
khulli hawa me mazaa hi kuch aur hai, bhai..

:-)

and you men convert every public place into a public toilet. you have no one else but yourself to blame. now you know why we call you disgusting!!!

i love you, sweetheart
:-)

Zubin said...

Yes...his open air experience...at my expense..!! :D
I'll kill him if he does that next time...

ahan...I don't like the word "You"...in here... :P...except for the "i love you, sweetheart" part.. :) :P
and btw...just for the record..I have very good "control" over my natural 'calls'...so..no open air for me.. ;)
(see...am not that disgusting) :p



Love you too.. :)

Preeti said...

arrey, i thought you were a cool dude...so there is aag also ha...?
interesting...!!!

of course you are not digusting, honey...i was only referring to men in general...

:-)

Zubin said...

@preeti..

Yeah...I am generally cool..but there are moment when I do SNAP.. :D

wah wah..men..disgusting in general..and am not..??:D....:d... :P
diplomacy..?? :P :P LOL..
I know you were not referring to me.. :)..I was kidding.. :P

Nidhi said...

hey blogrolling u. BTW my reaction to the post is ewwww.. after reading tht pee thingi.. lol. it used to happen near my house bu thank god no more. we have next building attached to us now

Cess said...

don t underestimate the ashtray man, it can really hurt ;) well it depends on the ashtray of course, i m talking about the one in thick glass ;)

C.
PS: u ve just been blogrolled ;)

Zubin said...

@nidhi...
Thanks dear... :)
well...it was a one-time-only thing..won't happen again. I took good care of it.. :)

@Cess
Glass...?? I am talking brick here.. :D..but maybe I'll keep an ash tray too then...though I don't smoke.. :D

Zubin said...

@Cess

and thanks for rolling me.. :)

Vinz aka Vinu said...

:)

that was a funny post..you should have clicked a pic and posted it in front of his door the next day.>!!

:)

Zubin said...

@Vinz aka vinu:

Thanks..
lol...thats a nice idea... :)