Damn the 08..!!

For last few years, the year 2008 has had this reputation of being the most crucial year of my life, a dawn of a new era. By the end of this year though..I can say it quite safely, it was the worst of 'em all...as if the night itself has elongated the hours of darkness...

Heard this in a movie yesterday...."I could have saved them if it wasn't for you..!!"

Maybe he would still be here if it wasn't for me?...or at least I should have told him..how much I loved...now I can only hope that he knew that already...he deserved to know...I wish..I just wish for once in my life, I could turn back in time...If I could set things right...If I can erase the guilt...the regret. But somethings are bound to be with you..for a lifetime.

It took me an eternity to write the above-mentioned. I have never been this weak...or maybe I have never known myself this well. I typed...and then I held my head in my hands...I typed and then I held my head in my hands again...and then maybe I cried a bit...

Heck with that..I'll be stronger. Nah..its not a resolution...I have ought to be...don't have any other option. I'll also remember this year as the year I graduated...the year my career would/(should?) have taken off. But then, anticipation is the death of joy.

We expect the joyous notion to reside with us and start taking it for granted, when it already is there with us. When we have what we crave for, we are happy...but not as much as we should have been and when we are not happy...we obviously are not...!!

Lets stop taking happiness for granted.

->gibberish: would not make sense to most<-

Anticipation: I should have..I want...will have it...I have it now...joy: happy? nah..I have it 'coz I deserved it..!!

.............Anticipation: I don't have it...should have had it...joy: happy? nah I deserved it..and I still don't have it!!

->end of gibberish<-

OK...shit apart..

...this is how I looked at the start of this year...

...and this is how I look now...

...I hope I haven't changed much...

Oh..and this is how I sing (now you know why my blog is in the silent mode today!!)..well if Himesh can..so can I.. ^-^..yeah I know its unbearable..but hear it for my sake yaaron.. (I am expecting comments on this as well..):p..I know the recording is a little shity and the sound that you may hear in the background is the T.V coverage of Delhi Bomb-blasts. Yeah...I have been Indifferent lately..(23 years to be precise)..

Click Play

The song is But It Rained originally by Parikrama.
However unbearable my cover may be....do hear the original song, you people would love it. :)

P.S: If you were looking for an intellectual post...I am sorry to disappoint you. I have buried my intellect in a coffin...all that's left now..is an attention craving, self possessed lunatic...

Ahhh...Peace.
:D